Lost in Violet

Violet is an interesting character that I haven't had a chance to fully develop. While I have her history figured out, I have yet to feel out her personality and who she really is deep inside. Being the complex and gifted character that she is, it will be somewhat difficult to accomplish. Regardless however, here is a little introduction to the reality she faces.

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Noise, constant chatter. It was loud, it surrounded her in every fabric that she was and there was never any escape as she sat there and listened without option. Like a dull roar in the back of her mind did the voices ring out and sing, did they constantly rise and fall. It was as if surrounded by complete madness to which she sat looking at the book before her. Trying to focus, trying to concentrate through the noise.

Body squirming in the chair as she tried to get comfortable against the hardwood. Her small frame of five foot small enough that her feet didn’t quite reach the ground with the longer legs of her seat. Pencil tapping upon the polished wood table top while it demanded to be heard through the continuous hum of voices.

She was still young, though late teens if anyone had a guess from the punk-like attire she wore and the bookbag with textbooks that accompanied her. Her complexion was pale but not abnormally so, it was that softer peach that came from simply staying inside more often than not. She was attractive in her features, the way her body and face was shaped. In good health, she seemed prime in her physic.

But there still seemed something a little off about her, her hair was stark white. And with her skin still holding some color most would assume it was bleached to have its appearance. Yet there was something to be said about those who took such methods to obtain that which came naturally to her. It was only a day or two before the roots would start to give even the barest of clues. Whereas her scalp had nothing to show evidence of such.

Another place one might have looked as if to confirm or deny that this girl with such pure white hair was albino was her eyes. Yet they didn’t hold the usual twinge of red and pink, instead, they were a clear vibrant color of her namesake. Those Violet eyes searching her textbook for the answers to her studies as she tried to focus through all the noise. Pencil tapping quite loudly against the voices she could hear all around her.

“Just shut the fuck up!” she finally said, her voice ringing out loud and clear as she finally said something. For how loud it was, one would think that her voice would have gone unheard, unheeded, and yet…

The truth was, to all others it was quiet. The library was a place of sanctuary and quiet tidings and though this vast one, the largest in the city had so many people in it. Only the sound of pages turning or hushed whispers were ever made out. So as she yelled it rang and echoed through the quiet around her, turning heads and causing people to look up from their books towards the sound.

That tapping of a pencil? That was easily noticed by those around her though none made mention, to her, she could barely hear it.

Even with her outburst, she frowned, for a split moment those voices halted, stopped in their startlement to her words. There was a brief pause as some of the voices quieted for just a second before again they flooded in and she closed her eyes, reaching up to cover her ears. Even so, there was no escaping it, she knew that there was no use in covering her ears because it wasn’t her ears that could hear them.

Once more she had to envision building a wall, a room within her mind. Put the bricks in one by one between her and the voices and as she enclosed her mind she was able to get some peace. While it was similar to having an apartment with that shitty noisy neighbor that wouldn’t shut up on the other side of the wall. It was muffled, it was quieted. It wasn’t roaring like a busy construction site.

Finally, she opened her eyes and as she saw some staring at her she looked at them with an almost cold gaze. There was no embarrassment for her outburst, she had long gotten past worrying about what people may think. She had grounded herself if only for a moment and she looked back to her book, ignoring the looks as she tried to actually study and learn what she needed to know.

This was not her first time in this library, in fact, the routine was common for her. It helped with dealing with the noise, to predict just how loud the chatter was going to be. She kept as secluded as she could manage while doing what was expected of her in this world. She dressed as she did to be off-putting. Her white hair was ghostly against the black fishnet and t-shirt she wore, the black cargo shorts and knee-high leather boots. The silver jewelry upon her wrists and fingers holding no color to it. Ears pierced twice on the lobe, one in the cartridge on the left, twice in the lobe on the right.

Eyes painted with black eyeliner and shadow, making the color of her eyes perhaps seem a little darker, deeper, and vibrant. Lips painted as well in black lipstick, shining ever so slightly just as her black painted nails did. Perhaps punk was not as valid a description, this girl who sat there shrouded in self-made darkness was more goth in appearance and the sharp gaze she would lay upon any who came close spelled disaster for them no doubt.

Make no mistake though, this girl wasn’t surrounded by anger and rage. Her off-putting nature was not for hate of the world she was in. She looked like she was simply keeping herself safe, protecting herself, and while she didn’t reek of fear, it was something else. Her composure, the gaze in her eyes, the knowledge about the world that lay within them screamed of someone so much older then she appeared.

Observe, now as she was back to paying attention to her book. Highlighter in hand to mark the sections she knew she would need to revisit she had gone quiet again. Silent, as though she hadn’t just screamed at everyone to be quiet she worked again. A highlight here notes written in the worn and weathered notebook there, pencil tapping as she read, a self-created metronome to help keep the wall in place.

This was what she did every day, at this same time, in this massive building of knowledge. And for eyes that seemed to hold so much knowledge, she was sitting there studying high school Biology of all things. Spare hand reaching up so she could rest an elbow on the table and her chin in the palm as she looked at her book, pencil tapping away before the constant beat faltered.

This too was not unusual for her, not abnormal. Yet after another moment, it stopped altogether as if listening. No one said anything, there was no new sound drifting in the air, but here she sat as if she heard something. Still looking at her book she didn’t seem to bother looking around for the source of what distracted her. She instead reached into her pocket and pulled out a cell phone. Checking the time as though to verify it before she set it on the table next to her book and then leaned back.

It was a moment or so later someone was heading up the stairs to the floor she resided on. Coming up silently behind her as she sat there. There was no indication given to alert her to their presence, yet as they came up, reaching out to poke her in the shoulder she was already reaching back to shoo them away without even looking at them. “You’re late.” she said as she picked her pencil up again and the other form gave a sound of dismay at their ‘surprise’ being foiled, again.

“I’m going to get you one of these days.” The lanky teenage boy said as he moved around and plopped down in front of her. She looked up from her book towards him across the table and raised an eyebrow.

“The day anyone manages to do that is the day I’ll roll over dead,” she said rather bluntly, showing just how much she didn’t believe it would be possible for him to ever achieve such a small feat. There was even a slight smile as she knew the statement would irk him in a good-natured way.

There was no mention of how she knew, how she did it. Why would you share such delicate information? She had learned very early on, that people did not like to know you could do something wondrous or amazing. People didn’t like to know because it terrified them. She had learned quickly after finding her own parents were afraid of her abilities to pretend otherwise and keep it to herself.

She didn’t need the hassle, the argument, the denial, the fear, and being ostracized, scrutinized, and then committed by those who refused to acknowledge the one simple fact that she could hear thoughts as clearly as if they spoke them aloud.

No, she hadn’t heard his steps upon the carpet, or even the barest movement of cloth against cloth as he approached. No, she heard his mind. She could hear the anticipation of his thoughts as he reached to touch her, the subconscious facts of what he himself visualized in his own actions to know he had reached for her left shoulder that had prompted the response to shoo him away with the right hand before he even touched her.

He wasn’t the only person where signs lay bare if one was to pay attention and observe. To see day after day from her simple interactions with others there was something different about her. Something odd. Something abnormal. Something special. Something powerful and great. Oh, the things she could do with such gifts if only she wanted. There was something great and terrible that could come with what she could do, and she knew it. Another reason she kept it to herself, she wasn’t about to share it with anyone else so they could take advantage of it.

“Come on give a guy some hope.” He said and she had a slight quirk of a smile as she looked at him. She knew what he would say before he said it, in fact, she knew what he thought about saying too, the level of resentment he had on it and the frustration he held. But even with that he still was her friend, he still cared. He knew she was strange and there were times she even creeped him out, yet still, he persisted. Luckily he batted for the other team so there weren’t other types of thoughts that could have gotten in the way of their friendship. One thing she was grateful too.

“You should focus on things you can actually achieve, like an A on the next test,” she said as she looked at him then at her own book before sitting back in her seat. “Microbiology is so beyond me. How do they even know for a fact that’s what’s happening with each organism?” she asked seriously.

Across from her, leaning in close to look at her book he paused. “I don’t know? They just do? I mean they have evidence it’s doing that by watching it?” He offered and she just frowned as if that wasn’t entirely good enough. For whatever reason, this wouldn’t stick right for her and it was frustrating. Of course, she had issues focusing and everything academically frustrated her. But for her, how could they ‘KNOW’, for her, she was so used to being able to know with certainty what a person thought or feel, how they would respond, why they responded how they did. Even if she didn’t agree with it, she KNEW the answers. But here there was no mind to read, no way for her to know for certainty that they were right outside of taking it on the faith in their observations and theories to how it worked. It just wasn’t good enough and it just would not stick for her because of it.

“Don’t worry you’ll get it, you always do.” He added with a shrug. Unlike her goth attire, he was dressed relatively normal, it almost seemed abnormal for the two of them to be sitting there talking so casual and as if they had been friends for years because there was no visual commonality between them. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you not ace a test,” he added as he pulled his phone out and seemed to check a text.

She looked at him and raised an eyebrow. If only he knew the truth. She struggled in school. Oh, she was highly intelligent but it was hard to focus on everything, trying to keep walls in place to avoid going mad, while still trying to take in and store information she was supposed to be learning. Sifting through thoughts and all the information and data learned by those alone could end up taking space that should be reserved for more important or useful things. But did she let it show? Fuck no, why would she fail a test when the answers were there for her to use?

But she knew, she still needed to actually LEARN it all. And that was what she strived to do now. As he looked at his phone she couldn’t help but have a small frown, picking up on the thoughts and she gave him a disapproving look but then motioned, another shooing.

“Go ahead…” she said already answering the question that was on his mind. He was supposed to study with her but already she saw he wanted to do something else entirely.

He looked up surprised at the answer. “What? I didn’t even ask…” he said and already there was a hesitation. You didn’t spend time around her before wondering, suspecting, and only the belief that it wasn’t possible keeping you from the conclusion. What did she do with the information? The clear suspicion?

“It doesn’t take a rocket scientist that by the look on your face you wanna go hang out with your boy toy,” she said pointedly, not missing a beat. Oh, that must have been it, the obvious indication to how she knew. The look on his face as he checked his phone. There was a flush on the teens part with embarrassment that it was apparently so ‘obvious’.

“Well only if you’re sure, I mean I can try and study with you,” he said slowly and he was genuine with his offer even if he didn’t want to. She could tell, she knew what he wanted and it didn’t take being able to hear thoughts to know either. She shook her head and motioned again. “It’s fine. Just make sure you actually study at some point,” she said pointedly. That was the only reason she didn’t like it, she knew he needed to study. He was as bad as she was on this stuff.

His face went into a grin as he got up again. “Yeah, I will…” He said and she looked at him, not at all convinced, it was all there in his thoughts, he wasn’t going to and she rolled her eyes. As he moved she was already leaning away from him when he rounded the corner. “No…,” she said, calm and uncaring but firm. He stopped short as he had been about to give her a hug. “Oh right, yeah ok,” he said before giving a nod. He wasn’t alien to the fact that she didn’t like to be touched and seemed to freak out when she was.

“I’ll catch you, Monday Vi…” He said and she gave a little nod and wave of farewell before she paused. “And tell Brandon to stop wasting his money on games and use that to fix his fucking car instead of skimping off you,” she added and he paused looking back at her and giving her a strange look. “Yeah sure…” he said before shaking his head and heading downstairs.

Outside he went to greet the beat up old chevy his boyfriend was driving. The muffler was louder than usual. “Dude, what’s up with your car?” He asked as he tossed his book bag in the back and climbed in. The other who was more than likely known as Brandon was shifting into drive. “Man the muffler went out, Hey you don’t think you could help me cover the costs do you?” he said over the loud noise as he started to pull away and her friend, to whom was known as Brandon, paused for a moment surprised before giving a nod. “Yeah sure…” he said wanting ever so much to impress and please the one he had a major crush on. The warning Violet had given him already ignored and forgotten.

As this was said, so far out of earshot and sight from Violet she snorted. “Idiot,” she muttered to herself and shaking her head. Without context it seemed random, perhaps she was speaking of something in that book she was staring at, but no, observe ever so carefully the timing, that warning she had even given him beforehand. She was calling him out for ignoring her even if he couldn’t hear it.

Again the tapping started up with pencil and she was quiet as she went back to her studying. Time passed and it was already dark outside. Soon she closed the book and got up. It was time for the library to close and she could already ‘hear’ the staff going and letting everyone know. Putting books away and sliding the phone in a pocket she slung book bag over her shoulder and made her way down the stairs and out of the building.

She moved as though unaware that anything could be watching without her awareness. Her ability relied on the normalcy of humans. There were in cases those who she couldn’t hear, those she couldn’t see into and every time she ran into them it was both something she enjoyed as well as hated. Sure the noise was quieter but she didn’t KNOW what to expect from them. It was intriguing but a little unnerving. So rare was it that these instances occurred, and usually, it was with those who were damaged beyond repair anyway. Even people in a madhouse she could still hear more often than not. It took a severely damaged brain or one that was altered so much from the norm for her not to be able to understand the signal that is broadcasted.

Even with her walking the darkened city streets that surrounded Sara Hightower Library in Rome Georgia, she wasn’t concerned with any danger that might try and follow her home. Even though she didn’t look up at her surroundings to see if anyone was following her she could hear if she was on anyone's radar and as usual, other then the usual thoughts on her appearance, there was nothing to worry about. Nothing concerning.

So calmly she walked, eyes lowered as she did, she didn’t want to look at anyone, it made it harder to ignore them. And as she went through the small bursts of crowds along the sidewalks she would dodge and weave through. Being sure not to touch anyone because it made a connection that was overwhelming. It was a little too easy for her to get confused, to be unable to distinguish between her thoughts and theirs.

For blocks, she walked until she reached the Manor in which she called home. It was an older building as many of the homes and buildings in this area were. Well kept there was clear money to be spent by her family for all the landscaping they had. Yet for now, it lay dark and uninviting as she went up to the front door. Pulling out her keys and unlocking it before she went inside.

This home tended to have at least some signs of life in it at all times. Either groundskeepers or cleaning services, there was even a housekeeper that resided with them. But tonight it lay dead, it was quiet, and as she went inside, closed the door and turned on the light she took a breath and let it out.

The voices were still there but they were distant. There was a range in which she could hear and when she was at home, it was a little bit better. Why didn’t she try and study at home one may wonder though? Because she had to practice dealing with the voices and everything else. She had to get better. She needed to improve and she knew it. Here was a girl with a talent she couldn’t allow the world to see, had no one to seek advice from, making it the best she could. She had an inner strength and level of wisdom as well as determination to overcome her obstacles.

She wasn’t surprised her parents weren’t home. They tended to avoid her, she knew they loved her but she frightened them. Even if it was denied what she could do, they knew deep down. Why else would her father sometimes ask her to be home when he had business meetings and inquire to her ‘opinion’ of the new client that came to the house? Why else would her mother refuse to ever speak to her, knowing that she knew about her affair with another man and why she was gone late nights when her father was off on business? While they were in self-denial she knew the truth. She could see it there in her minds, and she knew well enough to leave it be.

The woman, Nina, to whom helped keep the house in order would have normally still been here, however. If not for the woman's mother growing suddenly ill and needing to take leave. Nina was a woman who was wise and seemed to have picked up on what she could do. Never was a word spoken aloud and never did the two clash. Unlike most Nina held a religious pretext that what she had was a gift from God. Something to which Violet herself didn’t entirely believe in. Yet she respected the older woman as she was more of a mother to her then her own mother had been.

With her parents away at some vineyard they had received an invitation too from some client of her fathers. And Nina has gone for the first time in years. Violet had the large home to herself. A normal teenager of 17 probably would have used this opportunity to invite friends over. Money was no issue in providing refreshments and drinks. With her abilities, she could easily score any level of alcohol.

Yet as if predictable there was nothing. She didn’t need the noise, the chaos, the insanity. She also didn’t need to hear someone sneaking off to one of the many bedrooms to bang it out either.

Instead, she went into the kitchen and looked through the fridge. Pausing as she saw a fully made lasagna there in the fridge. While normally a note would be left with it, there was nothing here. An assumption made that leaving a note forgotten in the need to leave quickly, that this was made by Nina to feed her while she was away. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out how to reheat food after all and she pulled the dish out.

Applying a serving to the plate and putting things away she opted to use the microwave. Checking her phone to find nothing there. One of the many curious places she found was the internet. The ability to communicate with people that she couldn’t hear. The closest she could get to ‘normal’ in a social setting.

But today there was nothing new on her news feed or twitter. Taking her phone she pushed it a little on the counter top away from the edge. Grabbing the food from the microwave that hung over the stove she went to the mini counter bar stool and sat down. Looking around the large kitchen and the small dining nook that looked out into the back yard before taking a bite of her food as she considered what to do for the night before bed.

What pray tell was the range in which she could hear? Fortunately, as of now, it was only that of a four-block radius around her, yet it only seemed to grow as she did. When she was younger it was immediate, it was close up and required touch, but now it was a drowning roar if she wasn’t careful and there were too many people around her at once.

There had been a time where doctors had taken a look at her as a child, a time where research had been done so many years ago during the years some didn’t overly try to remember. She remembered though, and she remembered how frightening and dark some of the thoughts had been, what they thought they could achieve, learn, DO with the knowledge. The idea and concepts of manipulating her somehow, to bend her to their will as a tool to fit their needs if researched proved correct and she did have this ability.

The science behind it was that if she were indeed capable of it, her body somehow naturally attuned to the brainwave frequencies that it gave off. While they were able to monitor and pick up these frequencies and data, they couldn’t turn them into actual thoughts. They couldn’t translate it at all. Nor did they know how she could manage to do so on a biological level. Something about her was different, and it wasn’t just showing in the ability but her slightly abnormal coloration as well they felt was tied into the genetics that were behind her abilities.

However she figured out quickly it was better to keep it to herself, and as she started to fail the tests, started to show she couldn’t do what they wanted because she lied. Picked up on the expectations and the knowledge of how to get past all the fail safes they had set up to keep her from tricking them. After all, it was all there in their minds, the worries and fears they hadn’t covered all the bases? All she had to do was utilize the knowledge and within a few months the project was dropped and she was back on the fast track to a ‘normal’ life.

Hypotheses that had been made and theorized lay all but forgotten and never fully tested. All because none of them had been clever enough to outwit her and out think her even as a child. They were clinical with their approach, as well as greedy, but they were also afraid, and fear caused mistakes that she had taken advantage of in order to escape the future she saw before her.

But none of this was on her mind, instead, she looked at the lasagna and took another bite as she ate and considered possibly watching a movie. Something was slightly different from the food she was eating. Like something was missing or added, or perhaps they just weren’t proportioned right this time around? Or maybe this was why Nina always reheated it in the oven instead of the microwave? The fact that the center was a little on the lukewarm side was a good reason for that she was finding.

She gave a yawn as she felt tired. The days could get exhausting, especially if she had nights where she couldn’t sleep well. It wasn’t as bad as some might have guessed, however. Because when people slept their brainwaves and frequencies changed. The voice quieted and silenced, leaving her some peace. Usually, it was only one or two late sleepers who might make it more difficult but she could tune them out a lot easier. So despite the fact her walls crumbled and fell when she tried to sleep because she lost focus on them, the lack of activity around her made it possible for her to sleep without going absolutely insane.

Another bite as she sat there and then she moved, getting up slowly she went to the fridge to get herself a can of soda. Orange soda, lacking any caffeine was the choice and with a tired almost slowed motion she went back to her seat and sit down. Opening the can she took a drink before looked back to her lasagna.

Stifling a yawn she sat up straight and gave a stretch before she finished off her food. Even though she was feeling overwhelmingly tired she wasn’t ready to go to bed. It wasn’t late enough. It was only eight and though the sun had disappeared because the nights were growing later she knew it was too early to be able to sleep.

The bricks she had placed up earlier were vanishing and the sounds of voices could be heard, louder than usual. While there wasn’t as many of them as there had been at the library it was still a bit overwhelming. Especially the fleeting ones that kept coming and going as traffic went by. She gave a small groan as she reached up and covered her ears, a natural reaction to too much noise even if it wasn’t in her ears.

“Stoooooop.” she said complained loudly with a groan as she closed her eyes, head buried in her arms and forehead pressed against the counter top as she sat there trying to focus. She was trying to put the bricks back but she couldn’t think straight, she was tired, her mind groggy, nothing was working right. If she had the ability to think straight she might have questioned what was happening or why. But instead, all she could do was get lost in the crowd of voices in her mind that wouldn’t shut up.

No one would ever manage to sneak up on her she had claimed earlier that day, yet here she was so unaware of her immediate surroundings this was one chance a person could take. She couldn’t even distinguish the distance of thoughts at this moment, they were all blurred, they were all loud, every voice rang clear and was muffled at the same time. Her mind was trying to focus in and figure out what it was hearing but it molded into its own nonsensical static.